For over two years, I sat at home. Whether on the couch or stuck to my desk-chair, I played on the computer, read books, and watched television.
I'll admit, I enjoyed the freedom of knowing that I could watch what I wanted, when I wanted. I had the ultimate household power! I had all the control! I had the remote!
Aly would come home and be reassured to know I was there, always available. Of course, she had to get into the habit of yelling out her presence the moment she walked in with friends. After all, with the complete freedom I enjoyed, I couldn't always guarantee that my attire would suit company!
Every now and then, out of a momentary bout with boredom,I would roam into other rooms . . . sauntering around with the complete freedom of a single woman: cooking what I wanted, eating when it felt right, and sleeping the clock around! It was exhilerating! It was life-affirming! It was pure satisfaction!
Until it wasn't . . .
After a while, admittedly a long while, I started to feel faint twinges of a need for human companionship. I started to want conversation and entertainment outside of my own little world. My daughter is wonderful, but exploring the world with her friends. Between her runs to the mall and fast-food and other assorted entertainments with her friends, I started being alone more and more. And though my dogs are wonderfully entertaining, they do not make the best of conversation. They listen well, it's just too bad their responses are so limited.
I finally got to that point. The point that niggles in your viscera, hinting at a life outside in the great, big world. So, I did it. I put up my hair, I put on makeup, and I took myself out.
Shocking! Even Aly got excited at the prospect.
Though I chose not to venture out into a strange new world, I truly enjoyed myself. I took myself to a local establishment, almost like visiting an old friend I haven't seen in ages. I looked at the paneling on the wall, I reintroduced myself to the paintings and posters. I reconnected with the ambience. And then, I conversed with people. Some were people I haven't seen in such a long time. It seemed amazing that they even remembered me. Some were people I met for the first time. After a while, I even found myself in conversation with personable man. A real-life man with a sense of humor and an outgoing personality. We conversed and laughed and enjoyed a memorable evening, sitting side by side and comparing our views of reality. We sat and talked and closed the place down.
Wow! Really? That was amazing! I didn't turn away, I didn't turn and run. I stayed. I conversed. And even more astounding, that man actually asked me for an evening out. To my own amazement, I said "yes."
With one word, in one moment, I put the hermit part of myself aside and I re-entered the dating world.
The power of one word can truly change a person's perspective. No longer happily satisfied with gluing myself to the couch, I found myself looking forward to my upcoming adventure with . . . yes . . . anticipation!
I planned my outfit (which a friend from work excitedly supplemented), I planned my hair (about which another friend made suggestions), and I waited for the day to come.
Then it was there.
And so was I, rejoining the world.
(News from the date in another post to come . . . )
