We raise them, then we let them go. We proudly watch them make their own lives and sometimes make their own mistakes. We wait anxiously for the "Oh, Mom!" calls, good and bad. I still call my mom regularly, whether things are going right OR wrong.
But preparing younglings for independent life is a lot harder than it looks!
I realized fairly recently that parents who fail to teach their kids certain skills, like how to form logical opinions, determine correct actions, or even simple household skills, place their children at a serious disadvantage, now and in their future. For example, a child who never needs to make a sandwich, nuke a heat-em-up meal, or even serve themselves from the pot on the stove has difficulty when visiting a family with different habits. A child who is always "served" gets confused when the service doesn't happen.
I believe in independence. I believe in allowing my children to make mistakes, but then talking them out so to learn from them. I believe in teaching them kitchen skills early on, as well as other skills. I love teaching them skills they can use in the future.
Show them how, help them try, then step back and watch them do it. I love seeing their pride in their individual accomplishments. My oldest built a dining room table today! Very cute, too! And my youngest is learning how to prep walls because she is going to paint her own bathroom.
When my oldest, Charli, moved out, I had no fear that she wouldn't be able to feed herself, put together a coffee table, or fix a tire. I may have worried a bit about her cleaning skills, but the Navy did a better job than I in that particular lesson! So I felt the pride when I saw the table she made (via Skype). And then, I showed her my rebuilt back gate. I'm proud of ME, too!
Why am I proud? Because we are independent women and we CAN take care of ourselves. And Aly is coming along, as well. I'm proud of both my girls. I know they will make their marks on this world, without needing to take extra time learning egg scrambling or oil changing. Those lessons are complete.
But what of the children who have everything done for them? I worry. Because they are going to be at a distinct disadvantage when they move into the real world. They won't have that pride and knowledge to buck them up, because they must learn a whole new set of skills. They are going to feel lost.
I feel bad for those children. I really do.
But for my children? I know they will be fine! And I cannot wait to see what they do with their lives!
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