Teaching teens about money....

It's plain not easy. Sure, we teach our children about shopping and saving money when they are young, but do they really get it?

I'm not so sure. Yes, my daughter is great with a sale rack! But...

I can't say how many times I've had to explain that I get paid once a month.

"When are we going to the grocery store?" she says. "Can't we just go, now? We need a whole bunch of things!" Because we are out of her special cereal and favorite snack foods.

"No, I have to put gas in the Jeep," I respond. (Because, quite frankly, I'm too embarrassed to tell her that I can't afford to do both until next Monday.... teachers make the little bucks, you know?)

Maybe I should have just told her that. And explained that the dentist cost more than I expected and that the current problems with that vehicle will take most of what little I have. Yet, she already knows that I borrowed money for the veterinarian today (that I WILL pay back on Monday) so why does she get huffy if I can't just give her more? Yes, I really did. I gave her $40 just four days ago. I have exactly enough to get us through the remainder of this week, if we have NO emergencies. And we do have food, just not all the little snacks that she really likes to eat. Hey, I will admit, I'm out of my snacks, too. And I'm not happy, but I accept the reality and know that I will be just fine.

I know, I know. Teenagers are naturally egocentric. At that age, everything bad that happens is the absolutely worst thing that's happened to anyone....ever! But for them? It is true. They don't have the life experience we older folks have, so it really is true for them. As parents, we have to accept that and learn to deal with it.

As a whole, teens appear to believe that we parents can pull extra money from the clouds if they find something they must have! That's not a bad thing, it's just not the true thing. They know that as our children, they are our "everything." We love them, care for them, clothe and feed them, and want them to be happy. Loved kids know they are loved, which is good. But as teens, they are only beginning to learn about life. And those life truths that we live with cause them difficulties. Like budgets.

When children are small, "wanting" means cheap things: an ice cream cone, a cute tiny stuffed animal, a bag of candies. When they grow older? Their "wants" get way more expensive: clothes, movie expeditions, and trips to amusement parks. I recently heard the ultimate question; "What kind of car are you going to get me?"

I almost had a heart attack. Already? No! Not so soon! She's only a baby! Oh, wait.

She's not.

But we now have a plan in place, and she will help pay for her car! I've noticed that "gift" cars just don't get appreciated as well as cars that teens must help pay for. When a teen helps pay, the car is kept up a little better and treated with a little more respect. (To my shame, I also know this from experience.)

But until she starts really needing to budget her money, I must learn to speak openly about budgeting and working through obstacles, rather than trying to go around them. This may end up being torture for both of us, but she's pretty swift. I think she'll get it.

Until then, wish us luck! (That we don't turn that sweet hug into a neck-wringing, on both sides!)

Love You, Aly!